Saturday, March 21, 2009

The immorality of seat-belts

The Amalek, who is head of the Reformed Pastafarian church has recently returned from a very successful trip to Africa. He had a wonderful opportunity to give some moral guidance to the people who flocked to listen to him as he travelled.

Of particular concern to the peace-loving Amalek is the wide-spread use of seat-belts in cars though-out the world and in Africa in particular. First and foremost they are simply immoral. They are absolutely against the Flying Spaghetti Monster's will.


If someone wears a seat-belt, it is a firm statement they he doesn't trust in the Flying Spaghetti Monster to protect him. That is a grave insult to Him. Also it is clear that the people who wear seat-belts drive without due care for other road users. They make people drive recklessly. Seat-belts are a major cause of accidents.

In an ethical society, people will drive safely and carefully they will not speed and they will not drink and drive. Then there will be no accidents. That is the ideal for which we strive. Each day people in cars are faced with a moral question, whether to trust the Flying Spaghetti Monster or to indulge in a sinful act and put on that seat-belt.
Posted by at 2:59 PM
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6 comments:

  1. The Amalek sounds a bit like the Pope talking about condoms.
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  2. ahem...that's the whole idea. They're taking the piss out of the Pope. Who richly deserves it.
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  3. There have been some reports in the media, that the deaths of two young women in a crush to get in to see the Amelek happened because the Reformed Pastafarian Church tried to save money on crowd safety and further that it was very insensitive of the Amelek to proceed with the ceremony even after the deaths as if nothing had happened.
    I would like to go on record as saying that the deaths were in fact a tragic accident and the Amelek offers his prayers for the bereaved families.
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  4. The parallels with the Pope are just uncanny, see: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article5955148.ece
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  5. also: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/mar/17/pope-africa-condoms-aids
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  6. But what of those who DON'T follow the FSM? In an ethical world of course but this world is not ethical. And (as stated in the Gospal) with all the people on Earth, the great FSM doesn't have enough Noodley Apendages for everyone. We're all lucky that we're still on the ground let alone safe from unsafe nonbelievers who drive as if they long for the day to meet their make believe maker!
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