Pastafarian Education

There is no greater gift that parents can give to their children than the gift of faith in Pastafarianism. That is why Reformed Pastafarian schools and Sunday schools have such an important role to play in guiding the young. It is our responsibility to help young Pastafarian minds develop in the right direction.

It is absolutely crucial that children study the Pastafarian Gospel. Elders of the Reformed Pastafarian church have done excellent work producing texts for children from four to eighteen years old. There is also a whole library of books for adults who want to strengthen their faith. Parents cannot start teaching their children too young. The Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster can be mentioned in nursery rhymes and each December four and five year old children are encouraged to participate in the FSM creation plays.

It is also important that the young learn about heathen faiths too. Our motto is 50 to 1 is balanced. So for a well rounded eduction, we have for every 50 hours spent learning about the true Reformed Pastafarian faith, one hour on other religions. Their obvious flaws need to be mentioned. The arrogance of atheism can be discussed and perhaps something about the intellectually cowardly agnostics.

The children will then grow into mentally and spiritually strong adults and won't be easily brain-washed into nefarious cults.

You must help the children find the truth in the Pastafarian Gospel.

Proofs of Pastafarianism

The following is the word of the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster:

I pity those who do not believe in Me. There are so many reasons to believe, you would be a fool not to.

There is such beauty in art, both Reformed Pastafarian and heathen art, therefore you should believe in Me, the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

If you do not believe in Me, the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster then it is guaranteed that you will not enter heaven. Happy are those who believe in Me, the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

You have nothing to loose by believing and everything to loose by not having faith.
You cannot have morality without Reformed Pastafarianism, therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

There is so much that science does not and cannot explain, therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

There is so much beauty in nature, therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

There cannot be any other explanation for all the good in the world, therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The love between people is miraculous and could never be explained as 'just a chemical imbalance in the brain', therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

According to scientists, it is incredibly unlikely that people should exist at all on this planet. It is a miracle that you are here, therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Every effect has a cause and in turn each cause has it's own cause. We can keep going back until we inevitably reach the unique uncaused cause. We call this uncaused cause the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster, therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I bring comfort to those who are sad and faith in Me brings such happiness, therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I heal those who are sick. Every day all over the world I work miracles, therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

It is written in the Holy Gospel of Reformed Pastafarianism that I am the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster. Further it states that you should not test Me nor doubt Me, therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

All over the world people believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster. Do you really think so many good and intelligent people could be wrong? Therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

In creation not all things are equally great. Therefore there exists something which is the greatest of them all, you can call that Thing the Flying Spaghetti Monster, therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Vast numbers of people have seen Me and I have touched the lives of a countless number of the faithful, therefore you should believe in Me the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I am the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster and I have devoted My life to you and I love you. Therefore you should be believe in Me, the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Just look into your heart, you will find the truth and your faith will be strong. I am the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Scientist argue that even if a super natural creator exists outside the natural universe, then we can still learn about Him by applying the empirical method as long as He has some effects which are observable. However what the scientists don't realise is that I, the Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster, frequently extend My noodly appendage and tweak the results of experiments. Thus, what scientists say should always be subordinate to that which is written in the Pastafarian Gospel.

What is Reformed Pastafarianism?

You are all blessed.

I am the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster and I have existed for all time.
There has never been a female Spaghetti Monster, capable of flight or otherwise. As a result I have developed a Frustrated Sexual Mentality (FSM). If a man wishes to be close to Me, the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster then he too should lead a life of extreme sexual frustration. He can then truly be one with the Me, the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster. There is no holier man than he who dies a virgin. On the other hand female virginity is not something I care about one way or another.

Venereal diseases have been sent by Me, the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster and although I have no objection to contraception in general, it must never prevent the spread of a sexually transmitted disease, lest it interferes with My work. Thus the contraceptive pill is totally moral, condoms are not.

There are many who carry out My holy work without formally acknowledging My role in their lives. But I would like to acknowledge them and to express My gratitude for their good work. In particular to Benedict the Virgin. Recently he and his followers managed to prevent the distribution of condoms to prostitutes in Manila, thus greatly helping the spread of venereal diseases so I would like to praise him for his good acts.

It is said, by Me, the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster, that in the year 2631 the son of Rob the Virgin will be born, he will be your Messenger. The Messenger's mother will be impregnated with Rob the Virgin's seed by The Miraculous Sperm Transfer. Both before and after The Messenger is conceived, Rob the Virgin will lead a life of extreme sexual frustration and will die a most holy virgin. During the Miraculous Sperm Transfer Rob the Virgin will experience no sexual pleasure what-so-ever.

The Messenger will reveal My will and the world is to be given moral guidance. To get to the top table in heaven you must follow the message that will be presented in the year 2659 by The Messenger, son of Rob the Virgin. The directives that will be delivered are going to be fundamentally different to any previous communication from Me, the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster. I will reveal the following at this time.
* For all people the heaven experience will be significantly better than hell.
* Belief in Me, the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster guarantees entry to heaven
* Lack of belief in Me, the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster guarantees exclusion.
* Both heaven and hell are divided into many tables.
* The better the table the better experience.
* The criteria used for allocating people to tables will be based on their actions and thoughts during their life. The precise rules and guide-lines will be revealed by the son of Rob the Virgin in 2659. No more information will be given before then.

This is My Word and I am the Lord, your Flying Spaghetti Monster.