Comments on Reformed Pastafarianism: Message from the Amalekites

Well, that explains it all. I've been wonderin...

2009-11-16T11:53:21.238-08:00

Well, that explains it all. I've been wondering for rather a long time what happened to all the people I knew.
Those damned Israelites!

And where are all my donkeys?
Thieving bastards.

Were the children and infants who were slaughtered...

2009-09-26T19:45:48.238-07:00

Were the children and infants who were slaughtered on God's instructions 'hateful'?
Well, I think this is where God and I disagree. I'm against genocide, even if someone military leaders have made imoral decisions, that is not an excuse to kill all of one population.

No-one sets out to believe in a lie. So in that respect belief is always sincere. If the Amalekites didn't believe in the Lord, then the fault is with the lord for not presenting them with enough evidence. If he gets involved with slaughtering their infants it would probably be difficult for them to appreciate his goodness.

I think there is a little typo in the bible, which has caused a lot of confusion is in the line: God made man, that should have been man made God. I reckon if you assume that the god in the bible was invented by people, then the whole book makes a lot more sense.

I think that God sets a very bad moral example. One of the great tragedies is that people use religion as the source of their ethics and hence, otherwise sane people, justify the slaughter of infants.

The historical Amalekites were eventually destroye...

2009-09-26T19:23:16.518-07:00

The historical Amalekites were eventually destroyed by the Simeonites, as recorded and chronicled in the historical account found in 1 Chronicles 4:42, 43, exterminated the Amalekites. So whoever are calling themselves Amalekites are not the same Amalekites who the Lord rightfully ordered their destruction. They were a people who were hateful toward the Lord and killed His people. So anyone who is "after" your destruction is misguided. Really, why don't you call yourselves The Mickey Mouse Club or something else. Save yourselves some headaches offered by ignorant people.

I wonder are we doomed because of our spelling? Su...

2009-08-16T05:04:01.711-07:00

I wonder are we doomed because of our spelling? Suppose we called ourselves Bamalekite, then would we still be doomed?

Or how about if we got rid of a few more letters and called ourselves the Kites? Or indeed about if we completely changed our name to Noudon, would we be safe then, since we wouldn't have a single letter taken from the name Amalekite?

I wish you all peace, love and prosperity.

My question of the day: suppose 100 people come to me with 100 completely different books and each person claims that theirs is the word of God and that the others are not. How will I be able to tell which of them has the real true word of god?

I guess it could also happen that of the 100 books shown to me, none of them really were and that the real one was not in that group.

According to most religions, there was a time before God made his first revalation to people. If you had lived in that time, you may well have believed that you were in a society that was quite advanced relative to what went before and no doubt there would have been some religious beliefs about, but none of them would have come from God. Is there any way those people could have found out that God had yet to speak? How about now, is it possible that God has yet to speak and that he will reveal himself, but he just hasn't done it yet?

Amalekites, your day of judgement is coming. You ...

2009-08-15T17:41:32.196-07:00

Amalekites, your day of judgement is coming. You cannot hide. The one true God is perpetually at war with you and you must fall before his bloody, shining hand of perfect vengeance. The Godly remnant of Israel knows your identity and you are doomed.

We really need an Amalekite memorial day. Lest we ...

2009-08-06T04:42:45.427-07:00

We really need an Amalekite memorial day. Lest we forget those who were slaughtered by the Abrahamic God and his accomplices.

Who is the nicer guy, God in the old testament who...

2009-05-22T09:14:52.203-07:00

Who is the nicer guy, God in the old testament who orders the slaughter of Amalekite infants, but leaves them alone when they are dead or Jesus who introduces the idea of hell and threatens people with eternal torture for also sorts of minor crimes, for example in Matthew JC mentions: "Anyone who says 'You Fool' should fear the fire of hell".

My own opinion is that it is utterly immoral to torture someone. It is also immoral to threaten to torture someone. So Jesus should not be held up as an example of a good moral teacher.

OK. Who is the author of this misinformation???? ...

2009-05-22T08:23:14.206-07:00

OK. Who is the author of this misinformation???? Seems like you got your own little cult thing going and a serious misinterpretation of the Bible. There seems to be a line of thought that says that the Bible calls for your demise even now in the 21st century. This would make the Bible a BAD BOOK!! Of course many would like to see the Word of God out of commission. That's always been the desire and scheme of Satan. Now, the Bible does says in Exodus 17 that GOD HIMSELF had an aught against the Amalakites for attacking Israel as they came out of Egypt and if HE's out to get you, you're a goner anyway. What can man do in that case? But.... do you realise in the New Testament everything has changed? Jesus Christ came over 2000 years ago to tear down the wall of enmity that as separated the Gentile nations from God and you now have an opportunity to repent and recieve his mercy. Your best bet is to pray for forgiveness for the sins of your fathers and yourself and hope and trust in his grace and mercy which he gives freely to all who ASK in the name of Jesus Christ.

Let us remember that although it sometimes seems t...

2009-05-05T08:05:00.000-07:00

Let us remember that although it sometimes seems that there are more of them, in fact the Christians are a minority with less than 35% of the current population of the earth.

In the interests of protecting the peace-loving Am...

2009-05-05T08:04:00.000-07:00

In the interests of protecting the peace-loving Amalekites, we all need to support the new blasphomy laws being proposed in Ireland by Dermot Ahern. Once it has come into force, we can use the law to get the book of Deuteronomy banned for encouraging ethnic clensing

From a Christian point of view, we've run into a l...

2009-02-19T06:10:00.000-08:00

From a Christian point of view, we've run into a little problem here. Let's go through the following cases:

(i)Suppose the Old Testament is the 'word of God', although it may have physically been written by humans, the text came about through divine revelation and divine inspiration.
God is quoted in the Old testament as wanting innocent Amalekite infants to be slaughtered and then in the New he seems to change his mind, telling people to love the enemies. This raises lots of questions such as, could God change his mind once again and decide to promote ethnic cleansing and infanticide? On the other hand, if God has never wanted innocent infants to be killed, then why did he say he did? It would seem that we run into logical contradictions if we assume that both the old and the new testament are the word of God.

(ii) The old testament does contain some of the 'word of God', but other bits were just made up by people. The problem now for the reader is that the bits that are genuinely the word of God are not marked as such. So how can we tell which are which? Someone may be tempted to just say 'if I agree with it then it must be the word of God, if I don't, it must not be'. However that is very subjective and leaves the text open to all sorts of interpretation. Does it make sense that a God who wants to give humans moral guidance would leave us a book that is so ambiguous.

(iii) Suppose the old testament does not contain the word of God at all, but rather was entirely made up by people. Well if we take that line, then when Jesus comes along and says that he is the messiah who was foretold in the Old Testament, then we must respond that his claims of divinity which are based on the old testament must be thrown out as well. At that point a logical reader would loose his faith. On the other hand a less logical reader, can happily ignore the contradiction and carry on with blind faith.

In the Bible, all mention of the Amalekites is in ...

2009-02-17T03:14:00.000-08:00

In the Bible, all mention of the Amalekites is in the Old Testament. For Christianity the absolute focus is on the New Testament, where Jesus preaches us to love one another and to even love our enemies.

Some worrying news has reached us that a small gro...

2009-02-16T13:19:00.000-08:00

Some worrying news has reached us that a small group of fundamentalists have gathered together lots of anti-Amalekite literature, including all those mentioned above. They are calling the amalgamated text 'The Bible' and are teaching their children that it should be used as their moral guide.

However we are optimistic that the vast majority of people won't be taken in by any of it.

Chronicles, book 1, chapter 4, mentions what the g...

2009-02-13T10:58:00.000-08:00

Chronicles, book 1, chapter 4, mentions what the good descendants of Simeon got up to:
They killed the remaining Amalekites who had escaped.

Samuel, book 1, chapter 28:

The LORD has to...

2009-02-13T10:50:00.000-08:00

Samuel, book 1, chapter 28:

The LORD has torn the kingdom out of your hands and given it to one of your neighbors—to David. Because you did not obey the LORD or carry out his fierce wrath against the Amalekites.

Samuel Book 1, Chapter 27, discusses David's warri...

2009-02-13T10:48:00.000-08:00

Samuel Book 1, Chapter 27, discusses David's warring with the Amalekites:

Whenever David attacked an area, he did not leave a man or woman alive, but took sheep and cattle, donkeys and camels, and clothes.

and then later in Samuel Book 1, Chapter 15, the L...

2009-02-13T10:40:00.000-08:00

and then later in Samuel Book 1, Chapter 15, the Lord is quoted as saying the following regarding the Amalekites:
make war on them until you have wiped them out.

The quote in the original piece above is from Samu...

2009-02-13T10:33:00.000-08:00

The quote in the original piece above is from Samuel Book 1, Chapter 15, Verse 3:

Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, ox and sheep, camels and donkeys.

Exodus 17:14-15
The Lord says: "I will complet...

2009-02-13T10:14:00.000-08:00

Exodus 17:14-15
The Lord says: "I will completely blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven."

Moses replies: The LORD will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation.

Deuteronomy 25:17 says:
you shall blot out the...

2009-02-13T10:05:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy 25:17 says:
you shall blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven. Do not forget.

The tragedy is that the author is not trying to be funny.

Psalm 83 recommends the following treatment of Ama...

2009-02-13T09:55:00.000-08:00

Psalm 83 recommends the following treatment of Amalekites:
Do Thou unto them as unto Midian... Who were destroyed at En-dor; they became as dung for the earth.

There are a few more books that may need to be inv...

2009-02-13T09:43:00.000-08:00

There are a few more books that may need to be investigated for suspected incitement to hatred of Amalekites, below is a list of the offending books (with the relevant chapters and verses):
* Genesis 14:7; 36:12, 16
* Exodus 17:8-11, 13-14, 16
* Numbers 13:29; 14:25, 43, 45; 24:20; 25:19
* Deuteronomy 25:17
* Judges 3:13; 5:14; 6:3, 33; 7:12; 10:12; 12:15
* 1 Samuel 14:48;15:2-8, 15, 18, 20, 32; 27:8; 28:18; 30:1, 13, 18
* 2 Samuel 1:1, 8, 13; 8:12
* 1 Chronicles 1:36; 4:43; 18:11
* Psalms 83:7

I've now taken a look at that book you mention cal...

2009-02-12T08:49:00.000-08:00

I've now taken a look at that book you mention called Deuteronomy. It is not full of silly nonsense, but it is just evil. After reading it I am now a nervous wreck. Are my children safe to go out or will they meet someone who has taken inspiration from that book? It is absolutely disgusting hate filled vile. I would hope that it is one of those books that no-one ever reads. But it is too much of a threat to decent society. It simply must be banned. There is no place in a civilised modern nation for material like that.

For a long time my parents have been involved in a...

2009-02-12T08:00:00.000-08:00

For a long time my parents have been involved in a really dangerous sect with strange rituals. I've seen one of their books called Deuteronomy. It seems to me that chapter 25 is particularly unpleasant to Amalekites.

I wonder what can be done both to protect Amalekites and indeed people such as my parents who are caught in up this sect and are being led astray?